So, the freaking out about earnings. It has two sources, really.… - Girl of Many Fandoms — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Dec. 30th, 2007|10:44 pm]
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So, the freaking out about earnings. It has two sources, really. One is that I want to get a flat and live on my own and I'm just not sure I can afford to at that rate.

The other, as usual, is my mother. She wants to know what I'm earning and how much I still owe on my student loan so she and Dad can figure out how much to take as my "rent". And something she may not say this time when I tell her - because she knows I'm not earning much - but has said before is "You should be earning at least £20K at your age and experience".

She's quite right, in fact. That's a reasonable wage for me to expect.

But the brain takes her quite reasonable and accurate statement and hears "You're a failure in life. You're 26 and a half and earning only a little over half what you should be. You haven't amounted to anything and you disappoint me."

So. Freakout ensues.

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[User Picture]
Date:December 30th, 2007 - 10:53 pm
You're right, you are earning less than your age and experience merit. But you are earning 3/4ths of that target income, not one half.

/optimism fairy, doot.
[User Picture]
Date:December 30th, 2007 - 11:17 pm
See, my american brain looks at your number, multiplies it by two (exchange rate and all) and thinks, oh, that's not bad (well, unless you're living in DC).

But even if you're not earning what you should be, screw her. Working on that is your job, and her pressure is not going to help. *hugs*
Date:December 30th, 2007 - 11:56 pm
(well, unless you're living in DC)

Or southern California. :P
[User Picture]
Date:December 31st, 2007 - 12:54 am
Oh dear :(

Now, if she'd used "could" instead of "should", I'd be fine with that. But instead she made it sound like a moral obligation, which I don't think is right.

*offers :hug:s*
[User Picture]
Date:December 31st, 2007 - 01:06 am

Same situation here. I actually winced when I looked at my total earnings from last year. I can actually say "I know how you feel" and mean it.