December 20th, 2002

bruised_candy Captain Jack

Scene that I may try to have made into a short film

This is just a film-bunny that won't leave me alone. Most of what follows really happened, and it struck me that it might make a good short. To my shame, I was one of the girls. I could be an evil child at times...

The scene is set in a school gym, a largish room. There's some sort of gymnastics demonstration going on in the centre, but the action we're focusing on takes place off to one side. All the adults in the room are watching the gym-kids, which may explain why no one intervenes in what's about to happen.

There's a pile of unused benches at the side of the room, and a small boy (aged about five or six) sitting on them, eating a pack of Fruit Pastilles. He's only just opened it and has eaten perhaps one or two of his sweets.

Suddenly, a group of three or four older girls approach him. Not much older, though - none of them is more than ten or eleven. Depending on whether this is a silent or not, we either see or hear one of them ask (or hold out her hand) for a sweet, and one each for her friends. He refuses. The girls ask again, more forcefully, but the answer's still no.

The girls look around, to check where the adults are. We never go to wide shot to see what they see, but it becomes clear that nobody's watching them. All but one of them grab the boy's shoulders and legs, and pin him down to the bench. The remaining girl sets about prising his hand open. It doesn't take long.

She gets the sweets away from him, but by now he's in floods of tears (understandably). The girls, surprisingly, now seem at a loss. Some of them may glance around guiltily. The girl holding the sweets tries to put them back in his hand, but he won't take them. So they divide the packet between themselves, and eat the sweets. However, they don't look happy about it. We should try to get across that it just seems to them like the only thing to do in the circumstances.

When the sweets are all gone, the girls linger for a moment. The boy is still lying on his bench sobbing, and one or two of them may try half-heartedly to comfort him, but he won't have it. Go to a bird's eye shot as they drift away to safer places, and hold it for a beat after they all leave shot. Just showing the boy lying there, crying.


So, what do you guys think? Would it make an OK short, if it was turned into a proper shooting script?
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