First, I'd just like to say that my failure to meet my parents and sister on the balcony for drinks after the ceremony was in no way my fault. I was on my way out of the room to join them when I was kidnapped by a half-naked Zimbabwean (on which more later) and taken out to the lawns for group photos. Nothing I could do.
Now, on to the actual ceremony. I got to meet (and kiss) Richard Attenborough, because he's the Chancellor of Sussex and therefore was officiating.
The graduands from my department were by far the most interesting, so a big shout-out to everyone from EURO, on the admittedly unlikely chance that they're actually reading this.
Anna skipped across the stage, and gave Lord Attenborough a huge hug, or so I'm told (she got her certificate right after me, so I didn't actually see that). And Luke came very close to being the highlight of the ceremony - he took the stage wearing a tutu, and when he reached Lord Attenborough, he got out a little pot of something that might possibly have been blusher and smeared it on his face. I have to say, the old man's a real trouper - he didn't look fazed by anything any of us did. Even Sam.
As I said, Luke would have been the most interesting of all of us - but then there was Sam. Sam had originally only intended to get his diploma half-naked and with a hole cut in his cap for his dreadlocks, which would have been good enough, but when he saw what Luke was doing, in the wings, he decided he had to go one better. So he took his trousers off, and I assume he was going commando from what happened later.
He walked across the stage wearing nothing but his cap and gown, which was wrapped strategically round his waist. Then when he was on the steps down from the stage, he decided to flash the entire auditorium. So he gave us all a full-frontal view of his assets. And apparently, my dad caught the whole thing on video, because he was taping my School's part of the ceremony. So in twenty or thirty years, when Sam's working in development, back in Zimbabwe, I can thoroughly embarrass him at parties with that footage, or I might even sell it to a TV station or something. Funfunfun!
And then he dragged me off for the group photos, which he posed for wearing only grey pyjama bottoms and his open robes, and the cap which he couldn't actually take off at that point because he'd never get it back on.
At least our graduation was unforgettable!